Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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