How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
