I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize