He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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