the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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