i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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