covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What did we do last night that was yellow?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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