i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
