They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
