I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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