Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
