covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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