that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
