remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
