I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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