I must be too annoying 4 u.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
