There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
