Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
