Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize