he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize