Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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