I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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