My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
