so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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