i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
