no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
