I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
