Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
