Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
