I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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