Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
