I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
