i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
