i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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