He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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