I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
