Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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