She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
