i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize