i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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