No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
