the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
