I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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