We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
