Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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