Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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