Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
