I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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