I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
