At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize