Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
