10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
3 2 1 whiskey
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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