either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
