How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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