3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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