hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
